Interspection

Last Call

2006-11-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

Doctor Ow

2006-07-26T19:28:00.000-07:00

First They Came

2006-07-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

First they came for the Dancing Zombies
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Dancing Zombie.

Clearing the Grim Guzzler

2006-07-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

Last Call

2006-07-08T22:31:00.000-07:00

A quick photolog catch-up since what, March?

Damien's birthday was a couple of days ago, and the anniversary of his death is coming soon. He will always be remembered, particularly by the ladies as evidenced here.

The infamous "corral", with hope it may be rebuilt in time for the summer weather. I do wish that if it does, perhaps a split-rail construction method (replete with barbed wire) might be accomplished, certainly would fit the bill.

Jeff is in fact, not a redneck, he only plays one when drunk.

Happy birthday to me.

Fightin' Round the World Part 1

2006-07-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

Brandis Meets Clare

2006-06-24T21:16:00.000-07:00

NO YUO

2006-06-02T17:51:00.000-07:00

A Sig

2006-04-29T21:19:00.000-07:00

A History of Violence

2006-04-05T22:33:00.000-07:00

Quite the good film, and I found it unsettling, mostly because there's no exposition of a prior Road to Damascus moment for Joey as he had become Tom.

Joey is for all intents and purposes a reprehensible character, no matter how virtous Tom may have come across. His actions previous to those portrayed in the story have no clean explanation, it might very well be that he took it on the lam and changed identity due to his brother's desire to kill him for what he did to Carl.

And at the end, no clear redemption is shown, his daughter accepts him, as does his son eventually, but the son's motives are unknown as he's gone through some heavy shit and the daughter is simply too young to know any better. The wife is a complete mystery.

All of which add up to a very engaging movie.

Fun with Onyxia

2006-04-02T00:50:00.000-08:00

V For Vendetta

2006-03-28T21:20:00.000-08:00

Overall, an extremely moving film. Have to go re-read the original to see the changes.

Last Call

2006-03-27T18:41:00.000-08:00

When I woke up this morning, I didn't know what day it was, and I'm pretty sure I was still drunk.

Happy anniversary.

Last Call

2006-03-22T18:45:00.000-08:00

New blood.

Marcus (sp?) is the new daytime guy, and this week is working nights to get a feel for it. So far, seems like an exceptionally good fit to me, plus there's the value added of this really odd and fresh attitude that seems to have come along for the ride. Loud rocking music, and for once it seemed that folks were genuinely having a good time. Like, not since '69 sorts of good times.

Last Call

2006-03-21T02:52:00.000-08:00

Hope springs eternal.

On Keyboards

2006-03-16T19:59:00.000-08:00

I was reading about a new form-factor keyboard, and the picture of it looked about as useful as teats on a windmill, with far too few keys and otherwise being just plain weird.

Turns out it was a musical keyboard.

Which begs the question, why don't we use chords for dipthongs, etc. on computer keyboards? Why so linear?

Last Call

2006-03-10T00:40:00.000-08:00

Hmm, where to start. Young love, more turmoil with friends, another bartender (possibly two) quitting and a field trip to a different bar foiled.

On the other hand, there's....well, there's not a whole lot.

Joy.

Last Call

2006-03-01T18:29:00.000-08:00

Don't Read This

2006-02-24T15:25:00.000-08:00

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?

Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

This is a Test

2006-02-22T18:23:00.000-08:00

Gotta see if this slurps or not.

Last Call

2006-02-15T19:17:00.000-08:00

Oh, is she ever.

So, rather unexpectedly things have changed, and I'm afraid not really much for the better. Someone has returned early, my own feelings thrown into upheaval, and in perfect irony not really all that much has changed from before I had decided to change my mind about certain things. (that is probably the absolute worst overuse of the word change I am likely to ever perpetrate)

I terribly dislike being in this situation, however I'm afraid that there is precious little I can do about it but ride it out to whatever end it sees fit.

Fate, I curse you.

Mullagh Carragh

2006-02-10T15:43:00.000-08:00

Might be Mullee Cregganagh as an alternative.

Last Call

2006-02-01T20:19:00.000-08:00

Apparently I am somewhat desirable. This is a situation I have not experienced in probably thirty years or more, so while I am in a much better state of mind to be able to deal with it, I am horribly out of practice. Please excuse the clumsiness.

This condition has provoked one woman to curse my name, a lesbian to kiss me twice, and a third to punch me in the stomach. Quite literally, mind you. The fisticuffs were brought on by circumstance in which I was finally able to speak my heart to a fourth woman, there was kissing in that part as well. It would be my understanding that stomach-puncher was upset with my actions towards the fourth lady, and my guess would be that there was some jealousy involved.

In a very directly related tangent, a friend of mine is going away for a few weeks. I shall miss her terribly, and I told her that I'd be waiting for her when she got back. O daughter of the sun, let not this tempest cloud your skies; get good, kiddo.

Last Call

2006-01-18T20:40:00.000-08:00

A dog, alone outside, waiting patiently for his master to either come to him or perchance to sneak into the establishment while no one is looking.I can certainly relate, and have decided to no longer be tied up in it all, but I shall expound on that quite a bit more at the end of this post.

Once upon a time, dogs could go inside just the same as for a short while we could still smoke in spite of the new ban; all that changed as more scrutiny is directed at the tavern due to reckless behavior, the kind that gets the cops to pay visits and generally ruins what once was a very good time.

Not only is it today's special, apparently the tavern has been offering stupid soup at a discount for some weeks now. My head sufficiently being clear from a brief respite in San Francisco, the bender that was the holidays worn off, I can pretty clearly see that not only myself but many others have been acting in the temporarily insane fashion and in a lot of these cases I scry that it is due to the change in staff, some very bad customer management, all leading to an atrocious change in atmosphere that I can barely tolerate.

For instance, here's a lovely recipe for stupid soup...

Ingredients:

- Several large drunks
- Some crack
- A general lack of cutting off and/or eighty-sixing
- Extremely poor handling of the situation by the staff, bordering on enabling
- An arm wrestling contest to somehow measure the relative length of penises

Mix well, stir it up, and bake.

Yield: A fight.

Imagine that. In the last month I've seen more fights at this joint than I have in the prior 13 years. And I blame it on one young, idiotic bartender who still has it in his head that this is somehow cool. Nerts. I go there to drink beer and relax, which is hardly possible when there's always the threat of rowdiness and rude behavior.

On the other hand, it might also be the only tavern where you might find a historical quote scrawled on the sign-up board for the pool tables. I can only imagine that a couple of history professors went in, got tanked, and argued their way out of the bar discussing the American Civil War. A few minutes later, one comes back to make his point more permanently and stalks off. That's my hope, at least.

Now onto my past life as a dog. I myself am not innocent of acting in a rude manner, a certain romantic obsession of mine nearly leading me to willingly cross lines that I had drawn for myself many years ago as well as act in a less than sincere way to friends of mine. Head clear now, and a short and frank talk has me realizing that I am not bettered by acting in such a way, waiting for someone to emerge or waiting to somehow sneak in. The leash was one that I had fabricated, and it no longer binds me. I need not find myself as was suggested, I've just managed to slip back into my "JP" suit, as for as long as I've known myself (a very long time indeed) I have always managed to remain the same old me regardless of experience or circumstance. Call it a hair-shirt, I am now able to retain focus (thanks, Trent!) on myself and what I must do.

For that short and honest talk, I thank you, Terri.

Muscle Cars

2006-01-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

Alcohol Trivia

2006-01-07T16:33:00.000-08:00

Interesting list.

I like #56.

Random Thoughts

2006-01-07T15:59:00.000-08:00

Spousal Relationships:

Father
-- Child
Mother
-- Child

...is one way of showing traditional multiple parent to child relationships in an outline form, marking up the child element to show cloning or aliasing.

I think instead the mother and father should somehow be marked up and combined as they are the elements that are given the special spousal relationship, perhaps in this manner:

[Marriage]: Father, Mother
-- Child

This would fit in with OmniGraffle's group and table markup in outline view. I propose unit/superunit hierarchy in addition to traditional child/parent/superparent hierarchy for threaded or tree/branch view.

Tactile Interface for Electronics

As more and more touch-panel tablets and PDAs and the like come about, the use of a finger should do more than drive a cursor around as a mouse does, there also needs to be a dynamic highlighting effect as well, think of what you do when you take a newspaper and show someone a block of text or picture with your finger.

Last Call

2006-01-06T19:15:00.000-08:00

See that? I don't even remember taking that picture, having that conversation or using the word matriculate, which I did in fact use, apparently.

Man, benders sure are fun.

I have sufficiently healed up from the self-abuse (the sincerest kind), toxins out of the system and due to some insights and decisions I'm about to purge a few dead skin cells and retire one Zippo lighter and bring back into service my old favorite, Godzilla.

And, just so I can remind myself:

Unhappy New Year

2005-12-31T23:59:00.000-08:00

So here it is, and I am stuck at home and the boy didn't even want to stay up 'til midnight to imbibe in some fine sparkling cider.

Bah humbug.

I Got a Hair Up My...

2005-12-30T22:14:00.000-08:00

As some may know, I have long hair. And when you have long hair, it falls out (as all hair does) but is far more noticeable than when short hair falls out.

Now, the nice thing about this noticed nature is that it is compounded with being easy to deal with after it falls out, clumped all up and tossed in the toilet for flushing away later.

But there's always...THIS ONE HAIR...left in the bowl, I mean -- IT'S ALL THE WAY INSIDE THE BOWL, and fails to go down with the ship. Hanging on like some drunkard in a public stall, holding on with nary but a fingerhold on the scant bit of porcelain, and flush after flush it remains, taunting me like some strange bit of anatomy from Poe.

Aarrggh, it drives me crazy.

Breakin' the Law

2005-12-30T00:08:00.000-08:00

Letter #1
Confidential
FM Tashkent
TO FCO, Cabinet Office, DFID, MODUK, OSCE Posts, Security Council Posts
16 September 02
SUBJECT: US/Uzbekistan: Promoting Terrorism

SUMMARY
US plays down human rights situation in Uzbekistan. A dangerous policy: increasing repression combined with poverty will promote Islamic terrorism. Support to Karimov regime a bankrupt and cynical policy.

DETAIL
The Economist of 7 September states: "Uzbekistan, in particular, has jailed many thousands of moderate Islamists, an excellent way of converting their families and friends to extremism." The Economist also spoke of "the growing despotism of Mr Karimov" and judged that "the past year has seen a further deterioration of an already grim human rights record". I agree.

Between 7,000 and 10,000 political and religious prisoners are currently detained, many after trials before kangaroo courts with no representation. Terrible torture is commonplace: the EU is currently considering a demarche over the terrible case of two Muslims tortured to death in jail apparently with boiling water. Two leading dissidents, Elena Urlaeva and Larissa Vdovna, were two weeks ago committed to a lunatic asylum, where they are being drugged, for demonstrating on human rights. Opposition political parties remain banned. There is no doubt that September 11 gave the pretext to crack down still harder on dissent under the guise of counter-terrorism.

Yet on 8 September the US State Department certified that Uzbekistan was improving in both human rights and democracy, thus fulfilling a constitutional requirement and allowing the continuing disbursement of $140 million of US aid to Uzbekistan this year. Human Rights Watch immediately published a commendably sober and balanced rebuttal of the State Department claim. Again we are back in the area of the US accepting sham reform [a reference to my previous telegram on the economy]. In August media censorship was abolished, and theoretically there are independent media outlets, but in practice there is absolutely no criticism of President Karimov or the central government in any Uzbek media. State Department call this self-censorship: I am not sure that is a fair way to describe an unwillingness to experience the brutal methods of the security services.

Similarly, following US pressure when Karimov visited Washington, a human rights NGO has been permitted to register. This is an advance, but they have little impact given that no media are prepared to cover any of their activities or carry any of their statements.

The final improvement State quote is that in one case of murder of a prisoner the police involved have been prosecuted. That is an improvement, but again related to the Karimov visit and does not appear to presage a general change of policy. On the latest cases of torture deaths the Uzbeks have given the OSCE an incredible explanation, given the nature of the injuries, that the victims died in a fight between prisoners.

But allowing a single NGO, a token prosecution of police officers and a fake press freedom cannot possibly outweigh the huge scale of detentions, the torture and the secret executions. President Karimov has admitted to 100 executions a year but human rights groups believe there are more. Added to this, all opposition parties remain banned (the President got a 98% vote) and the Internet is strictly controlled. All Internet providers must go through a single government server and access is barred to many sites including all dissident and opposition sites and much international media (including, ironically, waronterrorism.com). This is in essence still a totalitarian state: there is far less freedom than still prevails, for example, in Mugabe's Zimbabwe. A Movement for Democratic Change or any judicial independence would be impossible here.

Karimov is a dictator who is committed to neither political nor economic reform. The purpose of his regime is not the development of his country but the diversion of economic rent to his oligarchic supporters through government controls. As a senior Uzbek academic told me privately, there is more repression here now than in Brezhnev's time. The US are trying to prop up Karimov economically and to justify this support they need to claim that a process of economic and political reform is underway. That they do so claim is either cynicism or self-delusion. This policy is doomed to failure. Karimov is driving this resource-rich country towards economic ruin like an Abacha. And the policy of increasing repression aimed indiscriminately at pious Muslims, combined with a deepening poverty, is the most certain way to ensure continuing support for the Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan. They have certainly been decimated and disorganised in Afghanistan, and Karimov's repression may keep the lid on for years – but pressure is building and could ultimately explode.

I quite understand the interest of the US in strategic airbases and why they back Karimov, but I believe US policy is misconceived. In the short term it may help fight terrorism but in the medium term it will promote it, as the Economist points out. And it can never be right to lower our standards on human rights. There is a complex situation in Central Asia and it is wrong to look at it only through a prism picked up on September 12. Worst of all is what appears to be the philosophy underlying the current US view of Uzbekistan: that September 11 divided the World into two camps in the "War against Terrorism" and that Karimov is on "our" side.

If Karimov is on "our" side, then this war cannot be simply between the forces of good and evil. It must be about more complex things, like securing the long-term US military presence in Uzbekistan. I silently wept at the 11 September commemoration here. The right words on New York have all been said. But last week was also another anniversary – the US-led overthrow of Salvador Allende in Chile. The subsequent dictatorship killed, dare I say it, rather more people than died on September 11. Should we not remember then also, and learn from that too? I fear that we are heading down the same path of US-sponsored dictatorship here. It is ironic that the beneficiary is perhaps the most unreformed of the World's old communist leaders.

We need to think much more deeply about Central Asia. It is easy to place Uzbekistan in the "too difficult" tray and let the US run with it, but I think they are running in the wrong direction. We should tell them of the dangers we see. Our policy is theoretically one of engagement, but in practice this has not meant much. Engagement makes sense, but it must mean grappling with the problems, not mute collaboration. We need to start actively to state a distinctive position on democracy and human rights, and press for a realistic view to be taken in the IMF. We should continue to resist pressures to start a bilateral DFID programme, unless channelled non-governmentally, and not restore ECGD cover despite the constant lobbying. We should not invite Karimov to the UK. We should step up our public diplomacy effort, stressing democratic values, including more resources from the British Council. We should increase support to human rights activists, and strive for contact with non-official Islamic groups. Above all we need to care about the 22 million Uzbek people, suffering from poverty and lack of freedom. They are not just pawns in the new Great Game.
MURRAY
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Letter #2
Confidential
Fm Tashkent
To FCO
18 March 2003
SUBJECT: US FOREIGN POLICY

SUMMARY
1. As seen from Tashkent, US policy is not much focussed on democracy or freedom. It is about oil, gas and hegemony. In Uzbekistan the US pursues those ends through supporting a ruthless dictatorship. We must not close our eyes to uncomfortable truth.

DETAIL
2. Last year the US gave half a billion dollars in aid to Uzbekistan, about a quarter of it military aid. Bush and Powell repeatedly hail Karimov as a friend and ally. Yet this regime has at least seven thousand prisoners of conscience; it is a one party state without freedom of speech, without freedom of media, without freedom of movement, without freedom of assembly, without freedom of religion. It practices, systematically, the most hideous tortures on thousands. Most of the population live in conditions precisely analogous with medieval serfdom.

3. Uzbekistan's geo-strategic position is crucial. It has half the population of the whole of Central Asia. It alone borders all the other states in a region which is important to future Western oil and gas supplies. It is the regional military power. That is why the US is here, and here to stay. Contractors at the US military bases are extending the design life of the buildings from ten to twenty five years.

4. Democracy and human rights are, despite their protestations to the contrary, in practice a long way down the US agenda here. Aid this year will be slightly less, but there is no intention to introduce any meaningful conditionality. Nobody can believe this level of aid – more than US aid to all of West Africa – is related to comparative developmental need as opposed to political support for Karimov. While the US makes token and low-level references to human rights to appease domestic opinion, they view Karimov's vicious regime as a bastion against fundamentalism. He – and they – are in fact creating fundamentalism. When the US gives this much support to a regime that tortures people to death for having a beard or praying five times a day, is it any surprise that Muslims come to hate the West?

5. I was stunned to hear that the US had pressured the EU to withdraw a motion on Human Rights in Uzbekistan which the EU was tabling at the UN Commission for Human Rights in Geneva. I was most unhappy to find that we are helping the US in what I can only call this cover-up. I am saddened when the US constantly quote fake improvements in human rights in Uzbekistan, such as the abolition of censorship and Internet freedom, which quite simply have not happened (I see these are quoted in the draft EBRD strategy for Uzbekistan, again I understand at American urging).

6. From Tashkent it is difficult to agree that we and the US are activated by shared values. Here we have a brutal US sponsored dictatorship reminiscent of Central and South American policy under previous US Republican administrations. I watched George Bush talk today of Iraq and "dismantling the apparatus of terror… removing the torture chambers and the rape rooms". Yet when it comes to the Karimov regime, systematic torture and rape appear to be treated as peccadilloes, not to affect the relationship and to be downplayed in international fora. Double standards? Yes.

7. I hope that once the present crisis is over we will make plain to the US, at senior level, our serious concern over their policy in Uzbekistan.
MURRAY
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Letter #3
CONFIDENTIAL
FM TASHKENT
TO IMMEDIATE FCO
TELNO 63
OF 220939 JULY 04
INFO IMMEDIATE DFID, ISLAMIC POSTS, MOD, OSCE POSTS UKDEL EBRD
LONDON, UKMIS GENEVA, UKMIS MEW YORK
SUBJECT: RECEIPT OF INTELLIGENCE OBTAINED UNDER TORTURE

SUMMARY
1. We receive intelligence obtained under torture from the Uzbek intelligence services, via the US. We should stop. It is bad information anyway. Tortured dupes are forced to sign up to confessions showing what the Uzbek government wants the US and UK to believe, that they and we are fighting the same war against terror.

2. I gather a recent London interdepartmental meeting considered the question and decided to continue to receive the material. This is morally, legally and practically wrong. It exposes as hypocritical our post Abu Ghraib pronouncements and fatally undermines our moral standing. It obviates my efforts to get the Uzbek government to stop torture they are fully aware our intelligence community laps up the results.

3. We should cease all co-operation with the Uzbek Security Services they are beyond the pale. We indeed need to establish an SIS presence here, but not as in a friendly state.

DETAIL
4. In the period December 2002 to March 2003 I raised several times the issue of intelligence material from the Uzbek security services which was obtained under torture and passed to us via the CIA. I queried the legality, efficacy and morality of the practice.

5. I was summoned to the UK for a meeting on 8 March 2003. Michael Wood gave his legal opinion that it was not illegal to obtain and to use intelligence acquired by torture. He said the only legal limitation on its use was that it could not be used in legal proceedings, under Article 15 of the UN Convention on Torture.

6. On behalf of the intelligence services, Matthew Kydd said that they found some of the material very useful indeed with a direct bearing on the war on terror. Linda Duffield said that she had been asked to assure me that my qualms of conscience were respected and understood.

7. Sir Michael Jay's circular of 26 May stated that there was a reporting obligation on us to report torture by allies (and I have been instructed to refer to Uzbekistan as such in the context of the war on terror). You, Sir, have made a number of striking, and I believe heartfelt, condemnations of torture in the last few weeks. I had in the light of this decided to return to this question and to highlight an apparent contradiction in our policy. I had intimated as much to the Head of Eastern Department.

8. I was therefore somewhat surprised to hear that without informing me of the meeting, or since informing me of the result of the meeting, a meeting was convened in the FCO at the level of Heads of Department and above, precisely to consider the question of the receipt of Uzbek intelligence material obtained under torture. As the office knew, I was in London at the time and perfectly able to attend the meeting. I still have only gleaned that it happened.

9. I understand that the meeting decided to continue to obtain the Uzbek torture material. I understand that the principal argument deployed was that the intelligence material disguises the precise source, ie it does not ordinarily reveal the name of the individual who is tortured. Indeed this is true – the material is marked with a euphemism such as "From detainee debriefing." The argument runs that if the individual is not named, we cannot prove that he was tortured.

10. I will not attempt to hide my utter contempt for such casuistry, nor my shame that I work in and organisation where colleagues would resort to it to justify torture. I have dealt with hundreds of individual cases of political or religious prisoners in Uzbekistan, and I have met with very few where torture, as defined in the UN convention, was not employed. When my then DHM raised the question with the CIA head of station 15 months ago, he readily acknowledged torture was deployed in obtaining intelligence. I do not think there is any doubt as to the fact.

11. The torture record of the Uzbek security services could hardly be more widely known. Plainly there are, at the very least, reasonable grounds for believing the material is obtained under torture. There is helpful guidance at Article 3 of the UN Convention; "The competent authorities shall take into account all relevant considerations including, where applicable, the existence in the state concerned of a consistent pattern of gross, flagrant or mass violations of human rights." While this article forbids extradition or deportation to Uzbekistan, it is the right test for the present question also.

12. On the usefulness of the material obtained, this is irrelevant. Article 2 of the Convention, to which we are a party, could not be plainer: "No exceptional circumstances whatsoever, whether a state of war or a threat of war, internal political instability or any other public emergency, may be invoked as a justification of torture."

13. Nonetheless, I repeat that this material is useless – we are selling our souls for dross. It is in fact positively harmful. It is designed to give the message the Uzbeks want the West to hear. It exaggerates the role, size, organisation and activity of the IMU and its links with Al Qaida. The aim is to convince the West that the Uzbeks are a vital cog against a common foe, that they should keep the assistance, especially military assistance, coming, and that they should mute the international criticism on human rights and economic reform.

14. I was taken aback when Matthew Kydd said this stuff was valuable. Sixteen months ago it was difficult to argue with SIS in the area of intelligence assessment. But post Butler we know, not only that they can get it wrong on even the most vital and high profile issues, but that they have a particular yen for highly coloured material which exaggerates the threat. That is precisely what the Uzbeks give them. Furthermore MI6 have no operative within a thousand miles of me and certainly no expertise that can come close to my own in making this assessment.

15. At the Khuderbegainov trial I met an old man from Andizhan. Two of his children had been tortured in front of him until he signed a confession on the family's links with Bin Laden. Tears were streaming down his face. I have no doubt they had as much connection with Bin Laden as I do. This is the standard of the Uzbek intelligence services.

16. I have been considering Michael Wood's legal view, which he kindly gave in writing. I cannot understand why Michael concentrated only on Article 15 of the Convention. This certainly bans the use of material obtained under torture as evidence in proceedings, but it does not state that this is the sole exclusion of the use of such material.

17. The relevant article seems to me Article 4, which talks of complicity in torture. Knowingly to receive its results appears to be at least arguable as complicity. It does not appear that being in a different country to the actual torture would preclude complicity. I talked this over in a hypothetical sense with my old friend Prof Francois Hampson, I believe an acknowledged World authority on the Convention, who said that the complicity argument and the spirit of the Convention would be likely to be winning points. I should be grateful to hear Michael's views on this.

18. It seems to me that there are degrees of complicity and guilt, but being at one or two removes does not make us blameless. There are other factors. Plainly it was a breach of Article 3 of the Convention for the coalition to deport detainees back here from Baghram, but it has been done. That seems plainly complicit.

19. This is a difficult and dangerous part of the World. Dire and increasing poverty and harsh repression are undoubtedly turning young people here towards radical Islam. The Uzbek government are thus creating this threat, and perceived US support for Karimov strengthens anti-Western feeling. SIS ought to establish a presence here, but not as partners of the Uzbek Security Services, whose sheer brutality puts them beyond the pale.
MURRAY

Last Call

2005-12-29T15:31:00.000-08:00

Hey, you know what I got for Christmas this year?

I got really drunk.

And then, for Boxing Day I got really hungover.

Some highlights from the bender:

MMMMMMMM, hot dogs!

Really bad holiday sweaters!

Vroom vroom!

Hey look, a full moon!

ANOTHER full moon!

And then the health department showed up, quick, everyone stop smoking!!

For Those About To Do Something Foolish...

2005-12-25T00:53:00.000-08:00

...We salute you.

Oh, call it a sense of being compelled, call it foolhardiness, call it Ishamael for all I care.

Not since those days of yore have I felt the need to state my feelings to someone so strongly. For those in the dark, "those days of yore" refer to my days in the United States Army. Not since then have I felt for someone as I do right now, I didn't even feel this way about the mother of my child, which sounds unfair but then again, there you go. Life is just that way sometimes.

For the record:

I am very much drunk on really fine scots whisky.

I initially fell head over heels in love with Drisana's identical twin sister, Courtney.

Over time, due to simple access to Drisana and a dearth of her sister, that feeling has completely and irrevocably transferred to the lovely Drisana.

I have *always* been wrong about these things in the past, but yet needs must be fulfilled -- The dance is going on too long, and I must let her know my heart.

I suspect that she knows all to well my intents, it remains to be seen as to whether it be folly, or in all reality a damnation. It would mean crossing a line I drew for myself a very long time ago, or yet another reminder that my lot is not the same as other folk.

Whether her current situation be bad or good, my hand can upset it -- So I believe.

So here I sit, prepared to force things, if just for a little. I have been counseled to wait, and then wait some more. I am very good at this sort of thing. Waiting, you know. Most times I feel like an inmate, waiting for parole or release. But much like Andy Dufresne, I am at that point where I cannot help but let those two Italian ladies sing.

Am I willing to sit in the box for some time for my impending actions?

If in fact I am wrong about her feelings towards me, then yes -- Most certainly. If no one acts the clown, then where would the humor be?

Now, If I am correct that brings up a different circumstance altogether, Am I Woodrow Call or Augustus McCrae? Call would wait and never ever know, in an effort to be right as opposed to being certain. Gus on the other hand, would put a bullet through an invalid man's head in order to show the strength of his love for his lady fair. Where that invalid man was his lady fair's husband of many years.

That's not to say that Gus McCrae is a bad man, his only sin is that of sloth, he was lazy and non-committal and lost her not necessarily to another, but he lost her just the same. And in time, after realizing his mistake from so long ago, sought to rectify it in the only clumsy way he knew how.

I seek to avoid that fate.

I do. So often I have played the chorus, opting out of any spotlight whatsoever, relegating myself to being a face in the crowd. I am afraid for all involved that this will not be the case this time. I must let her know, even if she does already.

I must break this line, whether it be my doom or the doom of others, but there is a primal feeling that can no longer be denied, to play the fool or to catalyze the doom of others. The latter is well on the way, or so I would believe. This I suppose is my faith.

So much worry, for in all reality such a small thing. I only intend to tell her that I love her, and that I will wait for her forever.

Allow me, Daughter of the Sun, to speak my heart clearly and purely, that I might one day say that I did so.

Dinner and a Movie

2005-12-24T21:55:00.000-08:00

Or more accurately, movie THEN dinner, but whatever.

Just saw Kong, and went to the Swingside for dinner afterwards, me and the boy.

Kong of course was magnificent, I can understand criticism leveled at the first act being a bit overlong, but now that it's all said and done I don't mind a bit, not even really the character exposition of Jimmy, which did indeed seem out of place.

Dinner was marvelous, my reasons for going being very selfish and paid off in full I suppose, masochist that I am. Hopefully Christmas proper will bring at least one mistletoe kiss, it's about all I have to look forward to.

Happy Holidays to all.

Meme of Four

2005-12-24T14:40:00.000-08:00

This is running 'round, so here goes mine:

Four jobs you’ve had in your life: Soldier, Graphic Designer, Pizza Guy, Software Developer

Four movies you could watch over and over: Jaws, Star Wars, Dr. Strangelove, Casablanca

Four places you’ve lived: Fremont NE, Hamilton SQ NJ, Monterey CA, Saudi Arabia

Four TV shows you love to watch: The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Mythbusters, Battlestar Galactica

Four places you’ve been on vacation: New Jersey, Las Vegas, Texas, Home

Four websites you visit daily: BoingBoing.net, CHUD.com, AintItCool.com, Fark.com

Four of your favorite foods: Pizza, Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches, Coffee, Beer

Four places you’d rather be: Outer Space, In My Own Past, The Isle of Man, In Her Arms

Road Rage Hit-and-Run

2005-12-24T12:52:00.000-08:00

Leastways, that's how I see it.

There I was (in the Congo!) taking a short walk outside enjoying a cigarette, when a car whips around the corner at a very high rate of speed. About halfway into my "Hey motherfucker, SLOW DOWN!!!" movement, is when the second car sideswiped the parked car. Looked for all intents and purposes that car number 2 was in pursuit of car number 1, took the turn too fast, over-corrected and smashed into the parked car.

And then promptly drove off erratically.

I got the license plate, as did some other witnesses -- While I was fetching my phone apparently car number 2 came back to survey the damage, and wound up flipping off some neighbors who had come outside to see what the deuce was going on.

While I feel my karma to be a bit high (in the right place at the right time, scant feet from the accident), I do feel bad for the owner of the car that got hit -- Merry Christmas, indeed.

Obvious Realization #457,839

2005-12-23T18:22:00.000-08:00

I just figured out why I spend my days off from being a father out and about, drinking and acting like someone around half my age:

I've never really had opportunity to spend a good portion of my life alone, as myself.

From growing up to rooming during college to rooming with my brother to the Army to rooming with my sister to becoming a father, I think I've had all of six months truly on my own and alone. With no other responsibilities or obligations but my own.

Can I get a great big duh?

Last Call

2005-12-21T13:20:00.000-08:00

Fat lot of good the smoking ban has done so far, all it seems to have banned is ashtrays in public places. Some interesting logic going on, as it is more costly fine-wise to get caught smoking cigarettes than it is marijuana, and if some establishments are going to turn a blind eye to cigarette smoking they might as well do so towards weed as well.

Welcome to Amsterdam.

Jerry finally quit, I guess after 12 or so years he'd had enough of the bullshit and is apparently going back into teaching.

Shennaghys - Prologue

2005-12-17T13:36:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time he was a jovial sort, happy in his place, working hard at the forge by day and drinking his fill at the rathskeller by night,

This all of course, was well before she became lost to him.

Afterwards, to say that he was devastated would have been a gross understatement, shattered as so many shards would have been a closer description, each one lost as well over the years until all that was left was a lode of dull bitterness propping up what once was whole.

Where she had gone to was a mystery; indeed no one knew whether she had simply left, been taken, or met a more tragic end. He refused to reckon in one way or the other, except when drunkenly, where he would entertain the vilest of notions. Usually these intemperate plays would close in their third act with a brawl.

These rounds continued for quite some time, perhaps not seeming so for the principle players, but it was in fact several years later that he was finally asked to take leave of his place, since he had long since taken leave of his senses. The cleric solaced him in the Maker, and yet he had already rejected his God in the name of grief and anger (although not completely). Naught could be done, and now he sought the cold comfort of his own self-destruction at the hands of others who do not suffer those of his kind.

And so it was that Doarn Caardagh left the mountains and put the mines behind him and traversed to the lowlands where strange peoples dwelt, in pursuit: of his own demise on the field of battle, perhaps some rotting dungeon; or of the fair Ingren Deyrsnagh, his beloved and lost to him so long ago.

Fifteen, count 'em

2005-12-17T12:31:00.000-08:00

Hey, look what we got -- Man, that's a lot of display. Problem being, no video cards to drive them (and I warned them of said fact, they assured me they had ordered them).

Thirty inches. Phew.

Until the vidcards come in, we're making with the fort-building. Just try and stop us.

Pronunciation Guide

2005-12-15T16:20:00.000-08:00

Doarn Caardagh: Dough-urn Kyahr-dakh(gh) [alt. Kyuhr-daks]

Doarnyiarn: Dough-urn-yihy-airn

Last Call

2005-12-14T20:39:00.000-08:00

Hey, John went the distance and shut the damn bar down -- kudos!

See kids, this is what happens when you get a job. You get to go out and drink 'til closing time.

I suppose I should clarify the last Last Call: I've done nothing wrong per se, or screwed up at all or anything of the sort. But I am sunk.

Kung Fu Fuck You

2005-12-13T14:16:00.000-08:00

Fucking hilarious.

Last Call

2005-12-13T13:05:00.000-08:00

Goddammit, I spent a long time mending that hole, and here I am torpedoed amidships all over again.

Hmmm....

2005-12-10T22:40:00.000-08:00

La Gioconda, Leonardo Da Vinci

St. John the Baptist, Leonardo Da Vinci

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Last Call

2005-12-07T19:49:00.000-08:00

Here's to the smokiest damn bar in Seattle.

Nice People are......Nice

2005-12-06T17:15:00.000-08:00

I have said this out loud in the past, but feel compelled to commit it to tiny electronic bits that in turn display remotely into what are commonly known as words which in turn are parsed in a very Chomsky-esque fashion into concepts and ideas amidst the grey matter and result in the same form of communication that is achieved by simply saying something out loud.

But as it would make me very hoarse to shout at a volume that the entire world would hear, here it is in writing:

I work for the nicest people in the world. I truly do.

I Need to Write this Down

2005-12-01T17:27:00.000-08:00

Sasquatch needlepoint face transplant mugshot. There.

Possible Bumble Sighting

2005-12-01T15:24:00.000-08:00

Is 'Squatch hanging out on Silver Star Mountain instead of at Key Arena where he belongs? Keep an eye peeled, he's coming to do some trampoline-slam-dunks on your mountain soon.

Last Call

2005-11-30T15:49:00.000-08:00

Hey, I won second place in a pool tourney this weekend. The tourney was for a triple birthday of sorts, which made me realize what an utter cliche my tavern is: Celebrating were Jerry the Bartender, New York Tony, and Carl the Mauler. Pretty sure I don't have a nickname like that just yet.

Aside from that and a wonderful tale of the washing and rinsing of bovine testicles, not much in the way to exactly write home about. I've come to some internal terms (which may see light of day here), things continue to happen slowly and my trigger finger is getting itchy. If I wait too long, this sniper might wind up getting captured.

Oh, and sorry once again, Dag.

This Whole Torture/CIA/War on Terror Thing

2005-11-29T15:45:00.000-08:00

"[War] is instinctive. But the instinct can be fought. We're human beings with the blood of a million savage years on our hands! But we can stop it. We can admit that we're killers...but we're not going to kill...today. That's all it takes! Knowing that we're not going to kill...today!" -- Captain James Tiberius Kirk

"I want him brought in...and I want him brought in by the book! By the book, do you hear? We have to show him! We have to show him that our way works!" -- Commissioner James Gordon

Last Call

2005-11-16T18:17:00.000-08:00

Meet Peter.

Peter's a very good friend of mine, and does not typically appear as he does to the right. Be that as it may, he can get very passionate or ridiculous or provoking and seems to do so at alarming frequency. Take last night, for example.

On this particular evening, I do suspect that many a change that Peter (as well as all of us) has no control over is starting to get very much under the skin, so to speak, and he was in prime form lashing out against Chris the bartender's taste in music. In other words, Peter would not be considered a fan of early 80's pop/rock, and would much rather listen to more obscure music from that era or any other, for that matter.

One might easily stop right there, having explained it quite succinctly.

Alas, no -- For Peter railed on, citing the music piped into supermarkets and on the radio, played at the tavern, all in the name of the new nostalgic demographic: Us. That is, folks in their late thirties to early forties, who are bemused by listening to the songs that were played whilst in high school. Excepting my aggravated friend, of course. Tainted Love, Relax, and let's not forget Jenny (you know Jenny, 867-5309 and all that). Oh, and John and I were teasing him rather mercilessly about it. I thought a vein would pop on at least a couple of occasions.

On and on he raged, compounding his argument with more and more vulgarity, peppering it with spittle and slamming the point squarely into the table whenever possible.

After quite too much of this, the conversation suddenly and unexpectedly swerved to discussing Jamie Lee Curtis (along with some other actresses) who have become fairly well known for exposing their -ahem- assets in certain movies. At first I noticed little, however before a short time had passed I came to realize that the tone had gone from hot red to a cooler yellow, and finally mellowed into a greenish blue. Seems that the talk of titillation and mammaries had calmed Peter down considerably, and not because he's one to be easily distracted from his point by a pretty face -- In fact, he's very much a focused individual when it comes to making his point, however violently or in most cases, completely reasonably.

No, I believe the discussion of the female bosom was proof of the old adage, "Ah, breasts -- They hath charm to soothe the savage music."

Words, Just......Words

2005-11-16T18:08:00.000-08:00

nekoneko: An Indonesian word meaning "to have a creative idea which only makes things worse"

gemütlichkeit: The warm, comfortable, cozy, social feeling, often associated with biergartens

mamihlapinatapai: Two people looking at each other each hoping the other will do what both desire but neither is willing to do

shakubuku: A swift, spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever

gedoogbeleid: The policy to not apply any policy

Last Call

2005-11-12T18:06:00.000-08:00

RAWR.

Far too infrequently I get the chance to go out and be bad on a Friday night, and last night turned out to be one of those instances. I always imagine that I'm missing out on all the truly fun stuff by being home-bound on the traditional "let it all hang out" night, and while I enjoyed drink and conversation with a number of friends, there were two or three that I really wanted to bump into who were conspicuously absent.

Which somehow makes me think that they're only coming in on those nights that they know I shall be there.

Like I'm a force of nature or something.

Kinda scary if true, which conjures up the comical notion of Godzilla being frightened of these tiny humans that pester oh so much while busy trashing downtown Tokyo.

Then again, I know plenty of folks who are deathly afraid of spiders, which approximates the scale.

Tin Foil Hat Time

2005-11-11T01:58:00.000-08:00

I found this weirdly compelling.

Last Call

2005-11-09T19:57:00.000-08:00

To quote Warren Ellis, "Body nazis can eat my smoky fuck".

Initiative 901 passed up here, which means that in thirty days I won't be able to smoke at my tavern, nor anyplace remotely close to being a tavern, or anyplace at all, it would seem. Without fail, every single patron of my tavern that I know smokes, all of the employees smoke, the owners smoke. So how did this happen, exactly? I am actually cool with no smoking in restaurants or coffee shops, but from my experience bars and taverns have always existed as nice little refuges for adults to go into and engage in adult things from drinking tasty adult beverages to smoking to many other things that adults tend to do.

So just who exactly narc'ed us out to mommy?

Aside from that, one of my new hats has not exactly been taken hostage, but is no longer in my control.

And I feel overall pretty damned powerless.

I Shit You Not

2005-11-06T14:21:00.000-08:00

Spotted on the interstate today:

A Lincoln Continental, with an older couple inside (guessing mid-50's or older), the required political bumper sticker on the rear.

The sticker wasn't your typical Bush/Cheney one, nor was it a Kerry/Edwards advertisement, not even was it for the Libertarian or Communist or Green Party candidates.

Instead, it advocated the election of Goatse/Tubgirl.

I can only hope it to be a prank, I cannot wrap my head around the alternative.

On Depression and Depressants

2005-11-06T12:20:00.000-08:00

Alcohol is a depressant, so they say. I suppose it is on a chemical level, and no doubt continual intake of the stuff can lead to alcoholism, which would be quite depressing.

However, I find that other factors in life to have far more of a depressant-like effect. Since the release of OmniGraffle 4 I find myself suffering from a form of post-partum depression, coupled with a number of things all happening around the same time that simply haven't turned out the way I'd prefer and I find myself in a definite funk.

The only constant, which I try and find solace in, is my drinking. Truly it's more of a social endeavor, as when one has a neighborhood bar to go to and knows everyone there and it's been well over a decade since this little dance has begun, it's less the activity performed as those you perform it with.

But even then, repetition turns it into more like watching the same episode of a television show over and over again, and it feels as if I need a change of pace to snap myself out of said funk.

But I won't.

Here I sit, before the start of my three-day-long set of nightly excursions into irresponsible pseudo-bachelorhood, and ponder my reasons for continual routine, well aware that it's not doing me so well. Don't get me wrong, I know exactly the reasons I do these things, and it has zero to do with chemical dependancy -- Although since moving I cannot smoke in my apartment, so I tend to spend as much time in places where I can when I can.

(as an aside, if they pass that idiotic smoking ban on Tuesday, I shall simply explode)

"I Have New Shoes"

2005-11-05T14:51:00.000-08:00

Actually, I don't -- The quote is an inside joke. But what I do have are new hats. I decided to stop it with the baseball hat wearing during the offseason and get some more winter-driven chapeaux.

The Norwegian watch cap I have zero qualms with, it is really quite perfect.

The other cap is, well, something I need to come to grips with. A wool-lined soft leather billed cap, much in the same cut as a military soft cap. The leather or suede is really quite light in color, which is a first for me and I am struggling to get used to it.

But damn if it isn't the most comfortable hat I've ever worn and it's quite warming, to boot. Perhaps some pics will emerge in a future Last Call post.

Bypassing the MSM

2005-11-03T21:43:00.000-08:00

Brad Friedman has some interesting comments over at the Huffington Post, so here I am passing it along. Be curious to see if yon blogosphere (to include forums) can pick this up and get it into circulation.

Poetry From Sweet Cincinnati

2005-11-01T14:06:00.000-08:00

greetings
love me ironfist
mice sing songs to attract hottie female mice
this bit of trivia I bring to you hot off the presses
and what is my reward?
nothingness

Quoth teh Jeff.

WoW Should Be a Controlled Substance

2005-10-31T17:04:00.000-08:00

Quoth James: "The thing is, when I think of World of Warcraft I get the exact same feeling as I get when I think about coffee."

Ensure That All Liquid Is Clear Of Oral Cavity Before Clicking Link

2005-10-31T16:05:00.000-08:00

I'm warning you, unless you like spewing coffee/soda/beer all over your monitor.

Last Call

2005-10-26T18:47:00.000-07:00

The view to the right is what it looks like when you're alone in a tavern. If for whatever reason you find yourself with this same view, go see a movie or something. Or make vit zee cha-CHAH-cha.

Oh, and incidentally, apparently Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader's familial relationship can be proven by a shared physical trait: the junk in the trunk, or boo-tay, preposterous posterior, bodacious buns, et cetera. So I have overheard. Kids say the damnedest things, and by kids I mean those just recently turned twenty-one.

Best Optical Illusion Ever

2005-10-25T16:04:00.000-07:00

Holy freakin' cow.

I Know Lots of Things

2005-10-21T19:50:00.000-07:00

According to Bill, "You're that guy who knows who that guy was that was in the movie with the thing."

Volume, Volume, Volume

2005-10-19T16:53:00.000-07:00

I've been following the ongoing Jack Thompson versus Penny Arcade firefight with some degree of interest and a good deal of bemusement. Today it appears that the Florida Bar Association has begun investigating whatever the latest brouhaha is worth looking at, and while IANAL it may very well be that he'll be disciplined in some fashion.

Now, I suppose that it's no crime to get upset at someone basically calling your bullshit, but what I'm finding interesting is something that's not a new development in how the web and internet work, but this case makes for a fine example of it: We outnumber you. The sheer number of Penny Arcade readers that emailed and faxed the FBA was apparently overwhelming enough to warrant action. It's a popular site with many, MANY readers, and it looks like they're not particularly apathetic about taking action to right a wrong, or even just poke someone in the eye. This is also easily evidenced at just how much money Child's Play pulls in each Christmas season, which ties neatly into the originating story.

This concept of "chorus thru volume of numbers" is something that certainly the mainstream media and political machines have obviously taken note of, what with the crazy-go-nuts newfangledness of blogging and linkblogging (by the way, blogging is nothing new, it is what hit the web right after the academic sites in the early to mid 1990's; today's automatic linking and ease of commentary is what is driving its popularity in the non-geek sector). Used to be that webmasters dreaded the so-called "Slashdot effect", as it tends to melt servers -- These days the effect is that a meme or idea or bit of news or technology can and will get spread too far too fast for the media or the government or concerned industry to really do much about other than acknowledge its existence.

Remember Mahir Cagri? Same deal, just like All Your Base and whatever other insta-memes that popped into practically every conversation worldwide, you couldn't stop them, you just had to wait til they got boring enough for folks to forget about, and then the next one would spontaneously combust into conception rather immaculately and the cycle repeats. The snake, by eating its own tail, is really just eating the back of its head. So it goes with the new concepts that are your water-cooler conversation pieces du jour, the spread of this information is happening faster than our ability to comprehend it, it dies down and gets rediscovered by a new "generation" of readers or listeners which is hopeful as it means that these concepts or ideas or memes won't die out, good or bad but be able to be discussed over and over again.

And while the media and politicos have figured this out, I do so wish the RIAA and MPAA would wake up, smell that coffee-a-brewin', and just give up on broadcast flags and copyright violation nonsense and pointless legislation to try and undo what our society is doing naturally with this technology. This propagation and popularity is natural, and no amount of legislation will impede it. We are, after all, legion.

As there's just so many of us, and we're all of like mind on some basic issues, or we're not of like mind and we're arguing heatedly about it, what key is that with the rapid fire spread of opinion, fact, argument and discussion, the older ways of resolving issues large and small are about to get swept aside in a manner that will make most heads spin. It is simply impractical to try and use the slow-moving methodology of lobbying and legislation, representation and regulation when the "common man" is already five to ten chapters ahead of you in the book, you see? Because this spread of information goes both ways so quickly, we find out about nasty tacked-on legislation as soon as it hits the floor (or sometimes beforehand) and electronically flash-mob those involved or those who can act upon it (much like the FBA and the Penny Arcade case above).

In a lot of ways, being so damned fast is a double benefit. No doubt you may have heard of Pastafarianism by now. It was a very rapidly spread meme soon after the debate on intelligent design began. I too, have been "touched by Its Noodly Appendage". While a very keen jab at intelligent design, it also stands the chance of becoming the next big thing in religion. I'm only halfway serious with that statement. In a thousand years, Elvis will be the long-sought-after messiah figure, given the spread of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I expect it to have brick-and-mortar churches in a few decades.

The double benefit I see in the example of the FSM is this: Since we're shooting this information back and forth so fast, and our comprehension plays catchup, it too is getting faster and we can sit back and determine if intelligent design isn't actually such a bad thing. Bear with me here, but by letting the fools have their way and actually legislating something as ludicrous as intelligent design into law, they open themselves up to any religion or philosophy being taught in public schools, meaning that in short order a large group of people (oh, I don't know, say those savvy folks on the internet, don'tcha know?) could conceivably create and re-define religion in a more logical way, defeating thousands of years of socio-political evolution like the vorpal blade snicker-snacking the head off of the beast.

Chew on that a bit, and get back to me. I fully expect a comment as soon as the damned blog loads so I can see my spelling errors, except the fact that no one actually reads this but me.

EDIT: Such as the Church of Reality. Imagine that.

Last Call

2005-10-19T01:56:00.000-07:00

Oh, I could speak to the spontaneous in-depth conversations concerning being able to purchase one-hundred pound bags of potatoes for less than a dollar at two in the morning, or how the grandson is actually fairly amenable and has at least a decent bit of taste when it comes to 80's hard rock/metal, but instead I adjourn myself to bed, and will hug that pillow and curse the fates.

God DAMN you.

Last Call

2005-10-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

My previous prediction proved to be premature; pride prevailed, prodding people to pack in their profession; due to predilection in favor of propinquity of parentage.

In other words, Andre got fired, Pat quit out of solidarity, and we now have two new bartenders, one of which is the grandson of the owner, whose promotion precipitated the proceedings, hopefully not resulting in anyone's privation.

Which rightly sucks, because I liked having Pat as a bartender, for many a reason. Now we'll have to see just how the new gal taking over his shift works out, so far she seems nice enough and is indeed more than easy on the eyes. Grandson on the other hand I have heard described in less than stellar ways, and I doubt he's going to be a smooth fit into the culture that has taken years if not decades to nurture at the tavern.

I only hope that the majority of regulars does not perform an exodus to a different bar, that would be a shame.

DIY Rum Aftershave

2005-10-15T15:25:00.000-07:00

A neat recipe for making your own aftershave.

I'll have to try this one day, however it would require changing my weekly shaving day from Saturday to Sunday, as no one would be able to smell my wafting rum-pot aroma on Saturdays. Of course, Sunday used to be the day o' shaving, but lately I've changed it to the day previous for reasons I can't exactly put my finger on.

Last Call

2005-10-12T21:09:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last few days in attempted murder. Murder of a head cold or flu or some such, that is. I came down with it last week, and in its final throes I have lit it afire with the stench of nicotine and doused it out again with beery suds, and a dash of bourbon.

I do this with every cold I get, when it's almost gone I go to town, binge drinking and chain smoking in order to do the following:

1. Show my body just who the boss is, especially when it comes to feeling poorly.
2. Show my cold just exactly how indifferent I am to its needs.
3. Show myself a good time, if the murder plot should fail.

The sinuses are fine now, the ears far less fuzzed out, however there's a rattle in my lungs that persists, it should be gone shortly.

In completely unrelated news, no one is getting the axe, however we shall see just how well nepotism coalesces with communal spirit.

As a final aside, she managed to show and escape cleanly once again. Sigh.

Dear Santa

2005-10-12T16:22:00.000-07:00

I've been REAL good this year. I swear.

Last Call

2005-10-05T20:49:00.000-07:00

Yee haw indeed. Boat races down the gutter (my entry, Miss Marlboro won its heat, nothing like cigarette cellophane to show its overall speed and prowess in the middle of a rainstorm), the realization that the plural of doofus is doofi, backrub conga lines, and who the hell is this cowpoke?

He sure looks smoky and mysterious, don't he folks? Ah well, it was a downpour that day, and rain hats are far better than umbrellas, even if you do refer to them as bumbershoots.

A Simple Checklist

2005-10-01T16:00:00.000-07:00

Coffee percolator? Check.
Straight razor? Check.
Fiddle? Check.
Whisky flask? Check.
Pipe and tobacco? Check.
Pocket watch? Check.
Zippo? Check.

Remainders: Re-learn how to roll smokes, learn to tie a bowtie, learn to brew beer.

Screw Hemingway: I've fathered a child and planted a tree, I feel no pressing need to prove my manhood to a bull.

Last Call

2005-09-30T23:20:00.000-07:00

Outdoor party with co-workers.

Night-time bocce ball, a large dog wearing a hoodie, warming cookies by the Costco propane heater...

...and a cucumber.

Ask Mr. Know-It-All

2005-09-28T22:58:00.000-07:00

Q: The character of Dill in To Kill a Mockingbird was based on whom?

A: Truman Capote (Harper Lee's childhood friend)

Mister Ellison is NOT amused

2005-09-28T20:23:00.000-07:00

Leave to Gabe and Tycho to take on the rudest writer in the world and just skewer him.

Last Call

2005-09-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

I don't rightly remember too too much from the last three nights, aside from the sober trip to a pre-screening of Serenity.

However, from what I can cull together, I can attest that:

1. I am a rockstar.
2. I am not an ass.
3. I am apparently now related to Dagmar.
4. I am a fixture.
5. I am very, very tired.

Ask Mr. Know-It-All

2005-09-22T19:05:00.000-07:00

Q: What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

A: There is no difference, a violin is a fiddle and a fiddle is a violin. The difference comes in playing styles, fiddlers will often flatten the bridge in order to more easily bow two strings at once.

(This is the last of the fiddling posts, I'm just overly excited)

More Fiddling Around

2005-09-22T15:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess Nathan and I will be learning together after all, Amazon has a blowout sale on full-sized violins, so I picked up one for myself on impulse.

Serendipity baby, as that doofus that screams commentary for college basketball games would say. What the hell is his name?

Fiddling Around

2005-09-21T22:41:00.000-07:00

Nathan has begun violin lessons at school, which I find exciting inasmuch that I myself have wanted to learn to play for quite some time, I expect I'll tag along with his learning.

Picking up the instrument and actually playing it was a bit fascinating, I have no clue how to place my left hand around the neck but I managed to not have it squeak and wail at me. I fear I may be uncoordinated enough to not be able to play well, but then again I can touch type and play Quake.

We shall see.

Last Call

2005-09-20T19:05:00.001-07:00

Just because you're the drummer in a well-known industrial band doesn't mean you don't get to be clumsy.

Andy spilt two beers on Duncan throughout the course of the night. Duncan. Ha ha, get it?

They start their tour tomorrow, go see them if you can.

Last Call

2005-09-19T16:46:00.000-07:00

Far too drunk last night.

Last Call

2005-09-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

Tourist night, or as I like to say, a "Seattle's Best Places" night, where all sorts of folks who I have never seen before pile into the tavern. At one point, I am the only regular there, which is very rare (not me being there, but being the sole familiar face).

When it becomes a tourist night, what you get is a complete and total sense of non-community, which is no fun for anyone really. Might as well have stayed home (and that applies to all parties involved).

Scene: Two chuckleheads shooting pool. I call them chuckleheads as it sounds like knuckleheads but is a tad less sharp-edged. The banter between said two chuckleheads involves supposition of eventually playing pool for money juxtaposed against what is obviously a lack of talent. Admittance of a very short career in 8-ball is made, and I observe it all.

Enter stage right: Dave, who has beaten the piss out of me at 8-ball on many an occasion. His name is scrawled atop the chalkboard and the waiting commences.

Enter stage left: Margaret, another pool shooter and long time regular, who is to say the least vociferous when it comes to the social graces of billiard playing in bars.

Our intrepid chuckleheads are playing bank-eight, meaning of course that they wind up chasing the eight ball around the table for quite some time. Margaret suggests (in her own inimitable fashion) that bank-eight should be foregone as people are waiting. Slightly harsh words and accusations of pool-playing ability are traded, and thankfully chucklehead #1 scratches on the eight.

Dave begins to rack up the next game, and the rules are set by chucklehead #2, fancying himself a pro -- Vegas rules, bank-eight. Dave plays dumb and the longest and most pedantic explanation of the rules of 8-ball ensue. I am trying so hard to not giggle.

Rule numero uno when it comes to playing pool for money: You have to learn how to miss shots.

Rule nummert zwei: If someone sits and watches you play pool for a game or two, and then offers to play for money, just give him the cash and be done with it.

Long story short, our man Dave wins the day, ten bucks richer for his efforts. Chuckleheads #1 and #2 beeline to the door and leave, which is sad as I was up soon and had hoped to take them for a beer or two.

So, had the regulars not started to arrive like the cavalry, I would have had to put up with listening to these two profess their prowess to each other in a mutual self-admiration pact, as I simply hadn't the stomach to deal with them myself. Nauseating, it was.

The most entertainment I've had there in some time.

Big Day

2005-09-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

OmniGraffle 4 launched today, I am very tired from answering emails and putting out licensing fires, but shall file another Last Call as last night's billiards story refuses to not be told.

Clever Use of Historical Political Assassination

2005-09-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

I found this post at MetaFilter to be wonderfully sublime.

Last Call

2005-09-12T18:38:00.000-07:00

The thing about my tavern is quite simply put, this:

- If you are a young man, you can get drunk.
- If you are an old man, you can chat up lovely young women.
- If you are a middle aged man, you can get drunk and chat up lovely young women.

Nothing spectacularly great, goony, or goofy occurred last night, so I've not much more to talk about other than the above realization, which did indeed dawn on me yesterday whilst there. Too bad, perhaps drunken tomfoolery shall ensue tonight.

The Reason Why

2005-09-12T14:19:00.000-07:00

I've just discovered why I found myself playing World of Warcraft which such zeal and aplomb until recently. I sought escape, and found it there, however currently I no longer desire escape nor do I necessarily need it.

Which is too bad, as I really enjoy playing WoW. I'll have to manage.

Ask Mr. Know-It-All

2005-09-09T22:43:00.000-07:00

Q: What was Gilligan's first name?

A: He didn't have one, but both Bob Denver and Sherwood Schwartz agreed that if he had one, it would be WIlly.

Katrina and the Waves

2005-09-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

As time cleaves its way between the then and the now and my own synapses settle into their pleasant routine, what I notice most is a gap or disparity between the expectations of the two Americas concerning the response to Katrina.

I am not referring to red vs. blue, although in many instances that template may apply; but instead to the expectation of the America believed in by its constituents and the America thought of by its leadership, sadly the powers that be.

I suppose it doesn't matter if the existent reality of America is one or the other, or whether whichever one has been true all along: The individual idealistic vista that the top level of leadership can and will respond in timely and impartial fashion to times of crisis; or the viewpoint that the federal government is there to merely shepherd and manage the efforts of many smaller organizations down to the citizenry from on high, the forty thousand foot panorama, so to speak. What does matter however, is that there is a grand misperception on both sides currently which is unfortunately aggravating the situation, a mote of sand in the craw of the nation that is so large, it rivals the elephant in the drawing room.

By my own reckoning, the current administration's response has been more than lacking in both timing and resources given to those truly in need in the Gulf Coast region. What aid has already been set in motion as well as its overall handling by the federal government has been badly mismanaged and predicated in the worst way possible.

I am fairly certain that I am not alone in this opinion.

Nor is the opposing view without its public champions, however callous I may find their disregard or mindless parroting of misinformation in an attempt to shore up confidence in a "job well done". What exactly the preceding quote is in reference to remains unknown to many, as it would appear from all accounts that the only thing that is seemingly finished up at the present time is the wrath of Katrina itself, and I know for a fact that hurricanes aren't card-carrying politicos of any affiliation.

It is the the sheer distance between these mindsets that I find to be the most troubling. That those who would govern would show indifference to their duty when they absolutely must -- The city of New Orleans, the state of Louisiana, Gulfport Mississippi, and the other communities and local governments of the Gulf Coast are incapable of meeting the crisis inasmuch that the necessary infrastructure has all but been eliminated. Yet the governing on the federal level did not occur in any sort of timely manner, and continues down a muddy path without clear destination. Troubling, as I take my stance to be correct and the administration considers its even more-so.

How it is that such reconciliation has become intangible between a "government by the people" and its persons is a question for history to answer, I myself do not profess to divine reason for it -- I only note that in a day and age where information is disseminated and events observed in an immediate fashion can so easily be construed or misconstrued with such bipolarity to be damned perplexing, and well beyond my ken.

Compounding this of course, is the Bush administration's lack of responsibility in the matter. An interesting multiple entendre there: I do not believe that the President has a weather machine in order to create category 5 hurricanes in which to smash his enemies, so there is obviously no responsibility in the event itself; Shoring up the levees may or may not have saved the day, no one can tell if funding cut is directly responsible for the flooding; The reorganization of disaster relief has been bureaucratized to the point of being bottom-up, so initial response lay with the cities, parishes, counties and states; And lastly the uppermost echelon of our government has eschewed leadership based upon so-called secondhand information or outright ignoring reports from the same media that they seek to control in New Orleans right now.

A rather tidy package, one might say. While the President and his personal appointees in charge of managing this disaster (ah, another double entendre) feel that they can continue to gaze through the upper lenses of the bifocals as the pages of the media reports are pressed beneath their noses and avoid the responsibility for the nation that they are sworn to, there is another word that comes to mind that history I'm sure will appoint to this proceeding.

That word is accountability.